1+1=1.5

"One plus one isn't two"

I tuned in to a radio channel this morning and the radio announcer talking about Valentine's.

"My wife was angry with me yesterday"

"She is angry that I did not get her a bouquet of flower and send it to her office"

"Oh c'mon man, it's Valentines. I wouldn't even back you up this time"

"No, listen. I have actually booked a place for two in a fine dining restaurant with flowers and live music. There are flowers for her, but its just during dinner, not during working hours"

Then there's this awkward silence for a moment.

Is this man really at fault now?

I doubt.

We had a conversation today, with one colleague of mine, asking about what happened last night.

He looked at me and said - "We broke up".

"(Huh) What?!" - I looked into his eyes and this explains the baggy eyes on his face.

I was too busybody and asked him "What made you two broke up actually?"

"She said I was insensitive to special days like this"

"She said I have never appreciated her as someone special"

"She said I should have even wished her, simple"

"What's that called again, took someone for..."

"Granted?"

He smiled, at his own stupidity. Followed with a laughter, sarcastic one, laughing at himself.

"But she never knew this is a plot, I planned something"

"What have you planned?"

"A proposal?"

"I was going to go down on my knees last night after two years, I talked to her about having a dinner together. She just thinks nothing gonna happen just because its a place we used to go"

"I got everything plotted just nice, just me and her and a ring?"

My eyes went looking something on him, I saw him wearing the ring, on his middle finger.

I speak no more, he spoke sadness in silence.

"She will know, tell her and mend things if you want to"

"I hope and wish I can, still"

Despite seeing all lovebirds flashing their sweethearts publicly, there are people that do not enjoy valentines. 

They experience heartbreaks. 

I can still remember what an aunt of mine told me.

"One plus one is not two, it will never be", referring to marriage.

"How is it so?"

"One plus one is one and a half, or 3 over 2"

You get stronger, because 3 over 2, 3 is stronger than 2, thus you get stronger together.
Now, listen closely.
One and a half is because you giving up some part of you and your partner as well and be together.
There is no one, in this world for a partner that can take every single thing.
You have to give up or give in something, it's not pure maths.
Always remember that there will be something good in the bad and vice versa.
No harm to take a step back, and give in.
Give in to someone you love.

I sincerely hope the broken relationship can be fixed still.
It is not an easy catch to find someone you love and ready to spend your life with.

"What are you good at?"

"Um, I guess screwing things?"

Love is legal

"Your dad is coming back on March right?" 

She smiled awkwardly, shaking her head with the slightest motion

She didn't realize and asked again: 

"March, right?"

There were three kids who stick together every time I see them. A year ago, two of them were shy, diffident and they just wouldn't talk to you. The way they communicate with you is through their stare, a cold blank stare they got in their eyes after questions were being asked and they would just walked away. Cool enough.

A year later (which is this year), the bigger sister started to respond to questions, well, not all of them. At least she tried and there's some changes from what I see. They changed from cool kids to kids that smile, kids that act like kids. They smile.

"Come, let me hug you", they are such small size that you can fit two of them in your arms and still having some space for them to move about (or is it me who is the big sized giant).

Their mom is a shy person as well, which then explains the inheritance of traits. 

Their dad is away from home, went off to somewhere far to work and they wouldn't know when he will be back

"Where is your dad?"

"Working"

Parents work, and there is only one reason to it - pay debts and to make life better for their kids

Giving them a good education, pay to let them learn music, arts or even sports; satisfying their demands, buying happiness

They were too busy earning dollars that they have to sacrifice companionship

This is what they have to sacrifice, and that's what being chosen

It actually got me into a minor emotional shift when I overheard their conversation while having them in my arms.

"Your dad is coming back on March, right? You just need to wait for another 2 months right?"

She smiled awkwardly, shaking her head in the slightest motion

She didn't realize and asked again, "March, right?"

Her younger sister looked at her sister and asked, "When is March, jie jie (sister)?"

"I don't know"

"A-yi (aunt), I am going to eat cookies, let me go"

She smiled awkwardly with a cute chuckle, pushing my hands away

I opened my arms and they ran away like three little chicks finding for food

The younger sister following behind

When is dad coming back?

I don't know

For a father, he can sacrifice and put himself in risk to have a better life for their kids, even if it is illegal

Because loving your family, is legal

Never have I ever thought

"So I woke up in the middle of the night, and smiled

I guess, it's love that has awakened me"

Sometimes, I want to be on a beach listening to the waves hitting on random rocks;
Sometimes, I want to hang out in my favourite cafe reading a book while listening to songs;
Sometimes, I want to just look at the people walking in and out without saying a word;
Sometimes, I want to be someone better, better that who I am right now;
Sometimes, I think I am not enough, I haven't reach there yet;
And that, I hate when I am being me, just me

"Oh God, look at that emotions running through me right now"

I once believed in words - promises, and many more words, because I trusted them
I have faith in distance - "A couple can be close to each other but not in love, but two souls can also be in love miles apart", mainly because I have faith in who I love, not more than that

There goes the cycle of life, growing up, living dreams, searching for love, be in love, making love happen, having a future together with your partner, having a family, getting old and forgetful (and not continuing this).
But there's always some outbreak in between perfect life-chords - heartbreaks, heartbreaks and heartbreaks.
Of course, it is not necessarily all about just your love partner, it could also be family, friends, and you yourself.
We grow to be stronger at hard times, thus heartbreaks make us stronger after each of them came dropping by, and the worst part is, it makes you stop believing in something I guess?

It definitely takes time to heal, to compromise, to understand, to not let anger overpower you.
Anger has always been one of my weakest point that put me into dangerous situations and its a norm that I will wake up the next morning feeling remorseful for what I have gotten myself into
This, unfortunately is still one thing I am still mending - I would rather remain in silence than to speak spears that hurt people that does not deserve to take it and to talk when anger walked away

Living in despair and loneliness, finding myself walking on the path of bygones way too often in this ghastly town with barely no one you can talk to
Spent most of the time reading, reading and drinking, at which I would feed my soul and sleep drunk

I have then came to realize I am used to living alone (not sounding pathetic - keep reading)
Comfortable, very comfortable for me to have control of my own time, things I do and places I go
Of course, to feel what I want to feel without the influence of other's emotion and without people to judge me

Sometimes, people don't listen to me, they are too busy talking when I really need their attention and ears
Sometimes, people don't really value respect which I am really disgusted by
Sometimes, people don't understand the emotions and body language of another person - psychological education is one important lesson in life for me, one of the essentials
Sometimes, people failed to let me feel loved
People failed sacrifices
People failed efforts
People failed hopes
People usually fail me with a grade F
That just make everything so difficult - rate it, "5-star difficulty level" screw that

Time has come to make me realize that if we are not open to chances, chances will never come
Spent nights pointlessly strolling in a mall or sitting by the park in the dark has become something normal to me
That is way before happiness came, way before you came
Just because we are open to chances, thus we got that one slim chance for us to take hold of each other
My monochrome life has been painted with colors bits by bits later on, like I once said "You are my happiness" and here comes the rainbow

So I woke up in the middle of the night and found myself smiling
I guess it is love that has awakened me
At that point of life I have found the reason to wake up every morning smiling

Never have I thought love came so soon
I hope it will just stay,  just like how I wanna stay drenched in this love 

Love with a wild heart, live like a wild man, sing like a wild boar
Let happiness come wildly at you
And it will stay, I badly hope it will stay
For how long it should be

Things never change but people change;
Dreams never stop but people stop dreaming;
Love never stop but people stop loving;
Distance never parts but people tore them apart;
Sad but true

Move on eh?

"If you have positivity in you, possibilities will follow"
I have faith in you, that is where love follows
For you are the "someone in the crowd that I would dance under a city of stars"